4 Steps to Stop Comparing
Your Success to Others’
How to
deal with professional jealousy
Drew
Hendricks
You use
other people to gauge your success, or failure. We all do it—compare ourselves
to other, maybe more successful, people. Without seeing what others around you
have achieved, how else would you know what’s possible, right? But as you
progress in your career, that benchmark effect can actually lead to
professional jealousy, which can hamper your own success and lead to
unnecessary stress if you let it build.
So it’s
important to acknowledge jealous feelings, because the time and energy you
expend worrying about what others are doing could (and should) be put into building your own career, your own business,
instead.
You can
take steps to recognize and reduce professional jealousy. Try these four:
1. See
the full picture. Pastor
and author Steven Furtick once said, “The reason we struggle
with insecurity is because we compare our behind-the-scenes with
everyone else’s highlight reel.” This is especially true in a social
media-driven era where everyone boasts about their accomplishments without
revealing the details behind them. That award your competitor brags about
winning might have been handed over by a friend. The major successes you see
other entrepreneurs achieving likely came after years of failure, none of which
they tweet about.
When you
find yourself feeling envious of someone else’s successes, reread your own
biography or scroll through your social media feeds. Consider how your own
successes might look to someone else and congratulate yourself on all your
achievements. It’s easy to forget how much you’ve accomplished when you’re
constantly working toward your next goal.
2.
Congratulate them. You
might notice that as your colleagues achieve great things, their circle of true
friends tends to diminish. The number of congratulatory responses to their
tweets will probably dwindle as the awards, funding rounds and media attention
increases. By being one of the few in the industry issuing congratulations,
you’ll not only look gracious, but you’ll be networking with someone who has
accomplished big things and might be able to help you along the way.
Part of
congratulating your industry colleagues and competitors is recognizing that a
win for them is a win for everyone. Instead of seeing someone else’s win as a
loss for you, recognize that there’s room for more than one person at the top
and these successes actually pave the way for other
ideas and growing businesses.
3.
Redirect your focus. Instead
of turning green with envy, turn the focus back on yourself and ask what you
can do to achieve what others have achieved. If someone else wins an award, is
it an award you wanted? If so, what can you do to put yourself in line for it,
as well as other awards, next year? If a friend just landed major funding or a
raise at work, what can you do to work toward
achieving that goal yourself?
As your
friends, co-workers and colleagues achieve success, it can serve as a to-do
list for growing your own career. Chances are you first decided to go after
your current goals because of the things you saw over the course of your life.
If you can return to a place where you observe the accomplishments of
those around you and strive to achieve the same things in your own career, you
can turn a detrimental emotion into something that’s healthier—motivation.
4. Look
away. If you
find yourself focusing far too much on other people, just stop. Unfollow them
on Twitter and drop the alerts you’ve set up for them. While it’s important to
keep up with the activities of people in your field, spending an unhealthy
amount of time and energy on them is more harmful than helpful.
By the
same token, if people are jealous of your successes, distance yourself
from them, too. If those around you constantly denigrate your accomplishments
to make themselves feel better, you’re probably better off without them in your
life. These people bring a toxic, negative energy to your interactions, and
that can impact your self-confidence.
See more
at:
http://www.success.com/article/4-steps-to-stop-comparing-your-success-to-others#sthash.4HOwqkGG.dpuf
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