Remember
this the next time you need a relationship escape. No matter how great a
relationship, it is still crucial for partners to take time for themselves.
There is simply no way that a man or a woman can fulfill all of their partner’s
needs; it’s just impossible to do.
Too often
people give up a favorite pastime in the beginning of a relationship in order
to devote more time and energy to making the relationship work. But what happens
down the road when one or both partners realize that they are terribly out of
balance and not taking that crucial time for themselves? Relationship stress,
miscommunication or worse: resentment.
There is
absolutely no need to feel guilty about spending time alone. Independence—and
that quality relaxation—is good for men and women, no matter how close their
connection.
While not
every man and woman falls into these characteristics I’ve observed, I have
found when one partner actively takes some alone time, the other usually feels
encouraged to do the same. Here are ways men and women can take time for
themselves in a healthy fashion:
What Men
Need:
Men
occasionally need to pull away. Remember, men are like rubber bands. It is his
natural cycle to get close, pull away and get close again. It is important for
men to feel their independence. Men automatically alternate between needing
intimacy and autonomy. Give a man his space and he will be a better, more
attentive partner. When a man gets too close and doesn’t pull away, he
often experiences more moodiness, irritability, passivity and defensiveness.
When a
man is in his “cave,” he wants to be left alone. He’s working out his problems
and frustrations by doing something alone, like reading the paper or watching
TV, or doing something active with his male friends.
And why
not coordinate “me” times? Men are happy when their partner does something fun
for themselves—it means that she isn’t sitting around waiting for him to come
out of the cave. After both taking alone time, he will come out ready to talk
and be intimate again, and she will have curbed any frustrations by being good
to herself.
What
Women Need:
It’s good
for a woman’s self-esteem to take care of herself—to let go and have some fun.
Always putting others first, she needs to enjoy time alone—to treat herself to
a shopping spree, time in the garden, a class at the gym, the simple pleasure
of soaking in a hot bath—or whatever infuses relaxation and balance into her
busy schedule.
It is
especially important for a woman to cultivate relationships with other women.
Women need to talk about what’s happening in their lives. On Venus, this is an
important part of relationship building. Since this is not the case on Mars, it
is wonderful for a woman to get together with her girlfriends to talk about—and
listen to—each other’s problems, without judgment or unsolicited advice.
After
taking the time to do things that make them feel good—refreshed—both partners
will come back feeling renewed… and lucky to be in a balanced and healthy
relationship.
To read more,please visit:
http://www.success.com/article/stop-feeling-guilty-about-me-time#sthash.s3R1gXq2.dpuf
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